Why Did We Get Married??

To me it was simple, for her not so much.

My Family

In my family it’s natural to find someone you love and marry them simply because you're in love and want to spend the rest of your life together. Making a commitment to love each other no matter the circumstances can be difficult and yes it will take two people who want the same things in life to make it work. It's frown upon in my family to have children out of wedlock. Believe me, I know in this day we see it more and more, but that is a traditional aspect in my family that I enjoy. For me it gives me a sense of family.

Her Family

They don't typically get married. Though her grandparents were married and actually had 16 children together, it’s not frowned upon if one were to not get married. Her parents, in particular, were never married. Let me rephrase that, it's not frown upon if they don't have the paper work to prove they are married. They will often live with someone for long period of time (say even 10 years) and even have children with them, but never marry, although everyone will consider them married. However, we have noticed some eventually leave the relationship after sometime. To put this in a simple way they just don't really care to much about actually getting married to someone, I think some would say the paper work is actually too much of a hassle especially if they aren't sure they will spend the rest of their life with them. Don’t get me wrong there are some in her family that seem to be committed to each other, but there are some exceptions

Our Family Together

My wife was not particularly into the idea of getting married. In some ways surprised me because I didn’t understand why someone would not want to get married, coming from my background. We definitely had some interesting conversations around why people get married and why it important to me and not to her. Not to go into full detail regarding her thoughts around marriage, but in short many people in her family have gotten married to come to the United States. Her whole concept of marriage was flawed by marriage being a means to of entry. Whereas for me, it’s a means to expanding your life and family with someone you love. Either way after consideration on both parts, we decided that marriage was the right path for us. It signified our love in a different light and gave our families an opportunity to experience our love. For both of our family’s gay/lesbian marriage has never been seen. We didn't do it for them; we did because we knew that for our family it would be important to show our commitment to our relationship and our love that will continue to grow.

So Why Did We Get Married?

1. We fell madly in love and wanted to strengthen our bond with an everlasting commitment.
2. For the family that we are creating it’s a foundation and place to lay down roots for generations after to look back on.
3. It's our life and it’s our relationship, it’s not anyone's place to say whether or not it makes sense in this world to marry.
4. We wanted a unity for our children that brings two loving parents together that hopefully they will be able to embrace in their future
5. The love we share is indescribable. We have no more words to explain it. We have no more ways to show it, but by doing what feels natural to us and that was to seal our love with a KISS.

Take a look at our videos on youtube, at LesTalkBian

Lesbian Chicas: The After Wedding Get Down

Lesbian Chicas: Married Life

Our Lesbian Wedding Diary : Slideshow

Finally we are slowing down and I have just created a wedding video. I did it pretty quick, but I will make another soon and one with our engagement photos soon. Thank you everyone for your love and support it was an amazing day, we felt and still feel very fortunate to have meet each other and to be able to share our journey of life with all of you. I hope you ENJOY the video <3.

Our love makes me Smile so hard my cheeks hurt :D

Wedding I Do's

Yes it has been quite some time but, that is all because I'm HITCHED now! As of 9/8/2012 I am a married woman and it feels great. Months of planning for a 5 hour event was exhausting but all worth it! 

Quick recap we were married at City Hall Restaurant in Tribeca, NY (if don't know NYC that is right next to the World Trade Centers). Small wedding about 55 attendees. A wedding planner who was amazing. A photographer who was well... amazing too! All in all these people made our night the more that we could have ever imagined. We felt really honored to be around so many family and friends that loved us for who we are. We will create a YouTube video by this weekend to recap everything, but until then I have attached a couple of teaser photos I got. Our Youtube name is LesTalkBian.

The DRESS

Finally a glimpse of the dress ladies this was my most well kept secret! Official photos coming soon and I will be back to writing this week. The wedding was amazing and thank you all for your support! We will be posting a new video on YouTube tonight on our channel Lestalkbian.

Rejection Can Be Deceiving

How many times have you attempted to ask a girl out and either chickened out or were rejected?

How many times have you looked at her all night wondering is she gay or straight?

How many times have you actually approached a straight girl who was curious, so played into, but later rejected you?

I could go on and on about the different situations that lead to a rejection. For me, I was never one to approach a girl. I would much rather she come up to me rather than taking a chance and potentially humiliating myself. However, once and just once before I was completely out of my dark closet, I actually told a girl I liked her, who we will refer to as CJ. Now I clearly thought without a doubt CJ was a lesbian. I mean I swear I thought I saw all the classic signs a lesbian girl. The way she dress and the way she acted are typically clear evidence. Now call me crazy but, if only I had a video camera you would have all thought the same.

So what happened? I got the nerve to tell CJ I liked her and her exact words were "I'm flattered but, I'm not gay". I said "REALLY". Talk about rejected. I really thought I had a chance and damn good one too. However, I later realized CJ had told a couple of her buddies about it and all the snickering started. Honestly I was kind of happy she told people because that meant I didn't have to. My closes friends knew but, no one outside of that circle so she definitely opened some doors for me.

Now back to rejection being deceiving, after I was rejected I thought that was the end of that and just moved on. It was the end of the school year and I was parting with friends, everything was all good…right? Not so much. In walks CJ, the party is still cool; I'm hanging with my girls. Later that night, I'm posted against the walk pretty much by myself, she walks up to me and just start grinding doesn't say a word and just walks away. Now WTF is up with that, luckily one of my girlfriends turned around and saw it too. So what did that really mean about her? Till this day I still don't know. I'm not one to play games so I never spoke to her about it. I figured it she was, in fact, interested she was going to have to get up and open her mouth same way I did. But have you ever heard of a straight girl grinding on her lesbian crush that she told she wasn’t gay? So back to my point rejection can clearly be deceiving.

To be a Muslim Lesbian or Not to be?

Finding a person you can truly connect with is one of the most difficult things to accomplish. It takes a desire on both ends and a want to build a relationship. While some of us are looking to find that "special connection" and someone to fall in love with others may have a different agenda. So what is the other agenda?

I know a person personally who's agenda is definitely down a different path, in fact she doesn't believe in LOVE. Honestly when she told me I was completely shocked and actually pretty sad. I'm engaged to be married to my partner and can't think of anyone else I could love more than her. Well I think I found a slight factor in why she does not believe in love, she's Muslim. And before anyone say's thats not true just hear me out, because I'm not trying to say its not possible but, rather for her it's increasingly more difficult.

In the Muslim culture arranged marriages are the "norm,"even for those in the United States. My friend, for all intensive purpose will be named *Natasha, is a Muslim who was born overseas, but raised in the States. She was also apart of an arranged marriage at the age of 17, now divorced. Now call me crazy but, at 17 all of was thinking of was who the next person I was going on a date with, definitely not marrying a man I had never had a conversation with. So I'm not going to give you a drag out story of what I really think of that, better yet form your own opinion. It's a culture that I can admit I have a lack of knowledge in but, I still have respect for it.

Getting down the the nitty gritty, I decided since she seemed to think love did not exist, I personally thought she just hadn't found it in the right person and therefore needed to at least have the experience! By experience I mean be in the company of women who love women! Maybe she just hadn't been treated with love by a person to know that it even existed. So we went out to a lesbian club in NYC. I really wanted her to let loose and just be comfortable,

Yes of course it started out a little awkward as my fiancee came along and another couple, but after a couple of rough songs and a couple of drinks she was ready to go! If you don't think love exist then how do you know where to find it. Let me tell you she was definitely up for having a good time and no I was not trying to hook her up, I simply wanted her to escape herself for the night and do whatever she felt was right. She did! Before we knew it she was dancing with a friend of mine and handling her own! She's even got the nerve to tip the dancer, yes this meant touching. All I could hear from her by the end of the night was "I had a great time!"

Ultimately I think I accomplished my goal! Not sure if she's ever had that great of a time with a guy but, I would be interested to see what happens during round 2!

Coming Soon Round 2!

What's the first thing you notice about a Woman?

Ladies, what's the first thing you notice about her a woman? Maybe its the way she walks or her smile. Take a moment to vote down on the column to the right down below! 

Lesbian Wedding: Dress Hunting

Dress hunting should be one of the best highlights of the wedding experience. You're also suppose to grab your best girlfriends, sisters, mom or whoever, to go with you. Well I chose to go a completely different route! Not say I wouldn't have like to include all of those wonderful people in my life like those I mentioned above, but they would all of very different opinions about everything. I thought if I included them all I would have more problems then what I started with. Plus I was a little nervous that with so many people my fiancée would ultimately see the dress and that was a big no no! So I went only with my Wedding Planner. I knew she had a good understanding of my personality to help me nail down the perfect dress.

Yes I know you may be thinking dang how could she not include her mom at the very least. Well to answer that: 1. My mom lives in Texas 2. She's still trying to wrap her head around this wedding 3. I know her ideal dress is something traditional and this wedding is already FAR from traditional. Given those reasons it was not that difficult of a decision. I did send her my top 3 picks to take a look at for her to have some idea of what I was going for.

Now back to this dress. I had to find something that SCREAMED my name something that made you look back twice. Though I found some dresses that were amazing and looked beautiful on me, they were at the same time a little more traditional than I wanted. Finally I tried on a Vera Wang design that was simply stunning. It took my breath away looking at it in the photo album. You will all have to wait to see just what dress I decided, however, if you are looking at any of her designs see if you can guess which one I chose!

If you are married what style did you go for Traditional or Fair From It? Comment below with your style!

BTW stay tune for "Lesbian Tuxedo Anyone"

Occupying....

Apparently Occupy Wall St has some initiatives I was unaware of!

10 Reason Women Love Women

Every so often people ask me why I like women. Every time, I ask why do you like men. Usually they can never return a direct answer other than I love the sex or the, you know what. I have to stay if that’s the only reason they can think of that's sad! Yes, I agree sex can play a major role in a relationship, but to say that’s why you need a man doesn't really justify anything, especially when you have never experienced sex with a woman. I joke with my straight girlfriends that if they ever did it just once they may think twice about sex with a man.

Beside the 3 letter word I wanted to explain just what else attracts women to a woman:

1. A women’s touch is definitely at the top of the list. In the words of Alice from the L Word 'you touch me here and I feel it everywhere'.

2. Her lips. Not only are they soft, but the caress they brings take away my breath.

3. Respect for my body. She's gentle, but knows when to take it up a notch.

4. She's not afraid to cuddle!

5. There is something adventurist about her eyes and her smile. She looks at you and you feel like the world is revolving around you guys alone.

6. The way she protects you, holds you and cares for you,

7. She goes out of her way to make me happy.

8. Some love the femininity while others like her settle since of style, she's neutral. Though, her curves are to die for.

9. She listens with pure compassion

10. She communicates with me and we are equal.

So I'm sure you are wondering what’s the underlying difference as to why Women like Women or Women like Men, right? To me there is not much of a difference. We all look for some of the things like I have mentioned above in a partner. As much as I hate to say it I truly believe most don't step outside of their social norm and will never explore the same sex because of it. There are not many differences in gay/lesbians or straights when it comes to finding love. Some women find it in a man while others like me find it in a woman. For me I only look for it in women because of the attraction I have for them and the feeling I have when I and with a woman. I don’t get that tingly feeling with a man. Women are simply gorgeous and my fiancée in particular puts every piece together for me! Again I have to say if it’s only the sex that keeps a women going to a man then they should honestly rethink their situation because you can definitely get that any person in general. And no I’m not saying this is the case for every straight woman, but I am pointing it out that I have heard much too often!

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Queen's Lola Lounge

Sometimes it can be extremely hard to leave the Manhattan borough, especially when you know no matter what happens you can easily find a place to retreat with lesbians and still have a great night. After much talk about the lesbian scene in Queens, NY from friends, my fiancee and I had to go. One thing to note first is, Lola's Lounge is only truly dedicated to lesbians on Saturday nights which they call "Girls Go Wild" (really not sure if I like that name). They do have other nights for lesbians, but Saturday is the primary day. Before we even walked into the building we knew this place was different. My fiancee is Dominican and we always see a variety of lesbians in Manhattan night clubs, but at Lola's Lounge it was clear that more than the majority were Spanish. Apparently the Lesbian Spanish community is rich, vibrant, and clearly VISIBLE in Queens. Honestly, I never would have thought.

If you think I'm wrong please go to Lola's because you will experience something a little out of the ordinary that you typically wouldn't see in Manhattan. The crowd by age was a pretty equivalent to my own (I’m 24). I feel like it was a 50/50 mix between early 20's to early/late 30's, which was great for someone around my age. In some places I have been to I can definitely say they appeal to even older crowds, like Henrietta Hudson. Overall great impression and it was a good feel to be in a different scene.

So what were the positives vs. the negatives??

Positives:
1. Music. It was a great mixture of bachata, reggae and hip hop. Although there was a slight interruption due to a 2005 Spanish awards idol trying to take the stage. Note to Lola's don't let people come in that think they are famous take the mike when they are obviously drunk.

2. Huge space. Most places in NYC are small and cramp. This floor had enough room for everyone. They also had a nice section for group seating.

3. Entertainment Area. This included flat screens to watch the games, pool tables and an outdoor area for the summer. I didn't try the food, but I hear it amazing too. There are also plenty of hookah's to go around.

Negatives:
1. Location. Yes I agree that you need to spread the wealth on the location of lesbian clubs. However, I guess I'm being a little selfish when I say I wish this place was in Manhattan, but it would also be wrong to take a great lesbian night club from the home of others. So this one I'll let you guys be the judge of.

2. Capacity limit. They seemed to hit their capacity fairly quick probably around 2:00am. Keep in mind people don't usually go until after midnight anyway. It didn't seem packed at all. Like I said before the space was great for dancing and it wasn't even near to the point of overwhelming touches.

3. Drink Prices. Some think the drink prices are great. I on the other hand think that $9 for a cranberry & vodka with limited alcohol is not worth it, maybe $7. But no matter what people are going to buy it.

So there you have it, make a judge call based on what you are looking for. I think this place is worth a shot to experience if any of the above interested you. Happy Searching!

~ TalkLesbian

How we decided the DATE for the BIG DAY??

Wedding Date Much

I wanted to come back to everyone with an update. A couple of you were asking when the wedding is taking place. I really thought I posted it, but if not the date is September 8th 2012. If you are thinking that’s fast, YOUR RIGHT. If you are thinking we are rushing is, YOUR WRONG. Since we got in engaged early this year we really had to way our options as far as the date was concerned. We thought we would definitely need to wait until next year just to have enough time to plan.

However, waiting until next year really meant around May, since this is obviously when it's warmer. Neither one of us want have the wedding during the winter months and in the north everything from October to early April is still cold. So the questions was did we want to wait about a year and half to get married, NO.

Then we thought about this year since we were still early in the year. We starting think about the end of year but, again these are winter months so November and December were a no go. Not only would it be cold but, also these are major holiday months for our families. Then there was October, absolutely not happening during my birthday month. So we got to September, surprisingly this the one month with no significant events, however there were some birthdays weekends we wanted to avoid so finally we came to the conclusion of September 8th!

That was a crazy long story of how we decided the date, I know. You really don't think of all the things surrounding the date until you are actually doing it. If any of you are thinking of your special date please consider the things I did and if you have other things to keep in mind share them.

Dinah Shore LAS VEGAS Style

If you are NOT attending Dinah Shore in Palm Springs coming up at the end of the month maybe Dinah Shore in Las Vegas will be more worth your while. Let's not forget Vegas is already the center of attention when it comes to entertainment. The Events are going to be just as amazing and yes there will definitely be a pool party. This pool party will take place in a Flamingo pool, interesting enough. Let's not overlook the Go-Go dancers that will be in the house. Last, but certainly not least, what would Vegas be without a poker tournament; so come with your A game and ready to play. 

Deaf Lesbian

We have all watched the L Word. So we have all seen a how difficult is can be for a non-hearing person to communicate in a relationship. I wanted to bring this event to your attention if any of you know someone that is a Lesbian and Deaf. It's important to remember that Lesbians can in all types, shapes, and capabilities. It can be very difficult for someone to find a place where they feel comfortable to be who they are and to communicate effectively around others. The 2012 Deaf Lesbian Festival will be taking place in Chicago for the first time during July 18th - 21st. The event will host workshops, socializing activities, and a whole list of entertainment. Support the community and pass it along to anyone you think would love to hear about this!

http://deaflesbianfestival.org/

- TalkLesbian

Fried Ice Cream Proposal

I realized thanks to some close friends that I never shared the PROPOSAL with everyone. So enjoy the story:

Friday night is our date night, whether we are spending time alone in our bed or catching a movie. No matter what the event we just want to make time for each other at least one night week. Friday February 10th started like any other night. We went back in forth about where to have dinner and finally decided to go to our favorite Japanese restaurant that has a hibachi bar (hibachi bar = cooking right in front of you), which now that I look back was definitely her plan the entire night. However, it was a pretty typical event. When we arrived to the restaurant, I decided I should get the movie tickets while she put our names on the list for seating. When I returned I saw that it wasn't packed at all and we actually had our own section. Again this was still typical, especially for a slow night. Nonetheless, our cook came, did his thing and we ate. Shortly after the cook was finished a waitress asked if we wanted dessert. Now I have to say she really didn't wait long to ask at all. The cooked had only left less than 5mins before she asked. Either way I figured it was ok because she had to be a newbie, considering we really did know everyone that worked there. I looked at her and she said "You want fried ice cream?" Of course I said yes. About ten minutes later my ice cream was being handed to me. The waiter puts it down and says "Congratulations." Again I looked at her and said "What is he talking about?" Looking back down at the ice cream I saw it was decorated so cute with raspberries and a green leaf on top. I moved the leaf, first, from the ice cream and saw the lining of the ring. Honestly, I couldn't even say anything but "Oh My God." I can't even tell you how many times I said it, meanwhile she's looking at me thinking please say something or at least take the ring out of the ice cream. Finally I took the ring out and she put on my finger and asked me to MARRY HER. In my stunned appearance as well as multiple Oh My God's later, I was finally able to say "Yes, of course!"

She is really the soul mate I have longed for. To find someone you want to share everything with is the Ultimate gift in life. She is and will forever be my Precious Cargo. 


FYI - The picture is not the actual as taking a picture of the masterpiece was definitely the last thing on my mind and it melted by the time I even thought about it.

SURPRISE!

AQUA.....

It's AQUA GIRL!

I went to this event last year and am very upset to be missing it this year. However, super excited about our wedding planning. For those of you who can't make the long haul to California for Dinah Shore maybe Miami is an option for you. It's five full days of non stop parties. Maybe you want to see a comedy show or live music instead of dancing all night, though I would probably choose to be on the dance floor, but you can do all of that and more at AQUA GIRL. This event is taking place May 2nd - 6th. If you missed it last year then you definitely need to be there this year! I went with two other couples and let me tell you it was the best getaway ever. Its a time to relax, party, and enjoy some time with your partner.


Join my Facebook group Talk Lesbian to see photos from last year!


http://www.aquagirl.org

Dinah Shore is BACK!

Dinah Shore is going down again in 2012. If you need a place to go and get away from home this is where you need to be. Dinah is the biggest event of the year in the Lesbian community. It's taking  place in Palm Springs, CA March 28 - April 1. Come with your partner or come as you are and meet and mingle. The girl's from the Real L Word will be on site and there will be parties from sun up to sun down, including pool parties. Sponsors from various events will be there as well, so come and support.

Grab your girlfriends and enjoy a time away from home.

http://thedinah.com/

If you are attending let me know, I would love to see photos from the event and hear about everything that happens.

Wedding Venue...

The wedding venue has been locked down! City Hall Restaurant in New York City.The place is gorgeous with a very 1800's feel with the open brick and lighting that brings mood to the scene. I fell in love it and so did my fiance. That was definitely a big load off our minds. They are able to basically do everything we need and are very flexible with what we want. By we I mean "WE", my fiance seemed to just be going with the flow until we saw this place it was the first time she really voiced what she liked and didn't like. So we have a WINNER. If any one has every been to this venue I'm sure you're thinking the same thing!

                                                Check it out and let me know what you think :)

http://www.cityhallnewyork.com/index2.htm

Wedding Planner.... Check

It's only been a couple of weeks, but it was a very easy decision to hire a wedding planner. She's been on board for the last week and already showed out. Some may ask why spend the money and the answer is simple. To keep my SANITY. I work in the corporate world and it's extremely hard to get anything done during the week, therefore I only have the weekends. Unfortunately no one is ever open to phone calls on the weekend with out and appointment. So this is where my wedding planner comes to save the day. She knows exactly what I'm looking for and is able to make the calls and appointments for me. This is honestly the best time in life to have someone help make an experience the most enjoyable. Every time I say " ok so I need to make sure..." she says " no I'll make sure...." who wouldn't love that. We have visited some places already are waiting for estimates now. I must say she has really selected some simply gorgeous places!

Yes I said YES... She PROPOSED

                                                                   

HELLO LADIES,

I am officially ENGAGED.  I can't believe it, but I'm enjoying every minute of it. I couldn't imagine being with anyone other than her. We compliment each other so well. She is my best friend and my heart. This amazing journey of life is starting a new chapter starring us as we set out to prepare for a wedding that we will never forget.